The Adventure Begins

“I like your pin,” Judy says.  “Is that… bacon?”

We are sitting in a bright, modern examination room with Dr. Mackenzie Cervenka, Director of the Adult Epilepsy Diet Center at Johns Hopkins.  She is young and energetic, with a kind and welcoming demeanor that immediately puts me at ease.  She is also wearing, on the lapel of her white lab coat, a shiny pin featuring two reddish-brown squiggles.

“Yep!” beams the doc.  “We love bacon around here.” She goes on to tell excitedly about her latest supermarket find: a frozen pack of mini hot dogs wrapped in bacon.  Just pop ‘em in the oven and enjoy!

My eyes get wide.  The heavens open up.  Angels sing.  I have finally found the diet for me!  All these years on the pick-a-diet Wheel of Fortune.  All these years trying low cal, low fat, points-counting, meal-timing, macros-tracking, hormone-optimizing, and every other crazy thing out there.  And all along, it was right in front of me, as simple as bacon weenies.  (Or is it, pigs-in-a-pig?)

I’m here for the orientation session for the center’s clinic, an intervention in which adults with epilepsy follow a prescribed low-carbohydrate diet for one year and monitor their seizure activity and other vitals.  The orientation includes a full day that includes appointments with Dr Cervenka and with Bobbie Henry-Barron, the Clinic’s dietitian.  These Wonderwomen are at the forefront of epilepsy research, and after months of reading that research, I'm really excited to be that research.

It’s taken a few months to get these appointments.  Joanne, the center’s Administrative Coordinator told me that they have been flooded with interest ever since Keto and Low-Carb diets have gotten popular.  “I feel bad for all those poor potatoes,” she laughs, admitting that she follows a low-carb diet herself.  Every time I call, we chat, exchange recipe ideas.  I feel like I’m talking with a friendly co-conspirator.  

 Judy has taken the day off from work to join me here, as my rock of support. After all, I love to cook, and she loves to eat what I cook.  So if I’m going to be cooking according to certain restrictions and rules, and I’m going to have to avoid certain temptations for the next year, it will be helpful for her to know what they are.  More than this, though, she’s here to keep me honest.

After meeting with Dr. C about my epilepsy, we sit down with Bobbie.  She analyzes my food log for three days (which goes well, since I happened to pick three days when I was being especially good).  Judy helpfully fills in the gaps, like those late-like snacks that I somehow forget to mention.  Bobbie is… impressed, shall we say, by the number of calories I’m eating.  “Well, you are a big guy,” she says, “and you do exercise…”  

She also turns me on to Cronometer, a food tracking app.  In the past I’ve used MyFitnessPal and SparkPeople, both of which I like because of their huge databases. (Being able to search for, say, "Five Guys Little Bacon Burger with mushrooms, mayo, mustard and pickles," makes tracking pretty easy).  However, the content in these apps is user-generated, and is often incomplete (If that user is on a low-fat diet they may not have bothered to input the carb count, for example).  Cronometer draws on official and proprietary databases like the USDA and FDA, so the information is more accurate.

We then join the other participants in a small conference room for a class on how to eat.  The ten of us range from young to old, male and female alike.  We don’t get the chance to talk much with each other, but it strikes me how epilepsy takes so many forms, and affects so many different people from different walks of life.  

The session is informative and engaging, with lots of interesting history and science as well as plenty of practical tips.  By the end of it, I can’t wait to get started, and even Judy, who lives by the motto, “It’s not a meal without rice,” is willing to get on board with this new low-carb way of eating.

Note: The ramblings published on this blog are the opinions of the author alone and shared for entertainment purposes only.  The author is an English major with no medical or scientific background; thus, his words should never be taken as medical advice.  Consult with your doctor or medical professional before undertaking any diet or exercise program.